Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
