just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
