her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
