Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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