She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
