We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
