Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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