wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
