So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
