Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
