She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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