I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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