did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
