Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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