im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
