dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
