it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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