is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
