Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
