No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
