we have officially lost it.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
