You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
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