So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
