we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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