i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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