it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Randomize
