Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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