fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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