look no pants
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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