i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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