I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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