he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Randomize
