You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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