I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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