she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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