We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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