Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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