weddingsv make me drug and hornr
high people should be assigned attendants
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
