I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It's shark week go big or go home
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
