It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
