oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
