I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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