Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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