Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
