I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize