Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
