She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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