At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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