Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My vagina is officially offended.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
