she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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