go do what you do best...puke behind churches
too bad you live with your parents still
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
